There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
