This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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