and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
