WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
