First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
