I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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