i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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