I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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