Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
