I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
vagina is talking i cant
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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