I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It's just like the Real World with babies
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't deserve a penis
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
