Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
