Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
