I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
