i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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