Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
