I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
