I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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