You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
even my farts smell like vagina
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
