can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
