I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
