I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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