its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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