at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
