"it" just moved
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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