I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
