WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
