Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Less talking, more tequila
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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