no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
