man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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