I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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