It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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