Kiss
Puke
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
