That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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