to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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