Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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