I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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