I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
