then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
