I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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