that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So squirting runs in the family.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
