Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
