Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
