p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
