and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
