Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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