maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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