so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
