do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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