maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
